The Making
Of...
The Visitation Series
Forever ago, I picked up a paintbrush and started to paint and I never wanted to put it down. Painting helped me to completely immerse myself in the joy of creativity and allowed me to dive deep into my creative spirit. A passion I abandoned after losing a beloved family member in my early twenties.
Grief isn't something you can teach anyone. The things I once cherished no longer brought me joy until I tried again one year later. Holding a paintbrush in my hands was like learning to walk anew. My old unfinished paintings were still left neglected, and I couldn't bare to touch them as the joy I used to feel still felt unreachable; they deserved to be finished with the same joy I started them with. Instead, I poured my emotions into new pieces, expressing the pain through a year of grief.
This collection, named the 'Visitation' series, will always be dear to me, despite the heartache involved in creating it, for it marked my return to painting.
Since my experience with grief, all motivation to do anything that used to bring me joy vanished. Even my greatest love of painting was gone. It took a year before I picked up a pencil again and began sketching out a painting and my Visitation collection lit the spark of creativity again. However, I still felt distanced from everything and I couldn't bring myself to paint something which my heart wasn't in. So I painted exactly how I felt, something that would show the small and big moments that was grief and love.
Painted in oils on canvas, 2024
Everyday, I see the fleeting sight of a bird and seeing nature encapsulated by the freedom and innocence of a flying bird is comforting. It lifts the grieving heart which longs to fly away with the bird and reunite with their loved one. Robins and small garden birds have always held a special place in my heart but their visits are often short lived. Since my dad passed, birds continue to visit the garden in cursory greeting, sometimes singing a song or two. These moments are beautiful to see, but there have been a handful of times where one has perched a little too long and glanced at me too quietly without a song in silent greeting. These paintings capture the essence of this greeting which is bizarrely transcending, especially in moments of anguish and melancholy. Birds have often been associated as messengers from our loved ones and a sign that they are still with us in as many ways as they can express beyond death.
In each painting, the delicate bird appears through a storm just as love will visit us in the torment of loss and grief. Not only do birds bring us these small tokens of love but also feathers, sounds, music and smells. It is these small moments that hold our gaze and bring us clarity and peace that we are truly with our loved one, even if fleeting like a bird.
